Hate You

I H-A-T-E YOU!

I have told myself to forgive you and forget whatever shit you said or did to me countless of times, because you are my father. I kept telling myself no cold wars because the fucking Lunar New Year is arriving. Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter now.

I FREAKING-LY HATE YOU!

I seriously do and I meant it.
Forget about the fight we had last year. Forget about the quarrels and arguments. But I definitely won't forgive you because I am fucking cold blooded now. The thought of how you treated me so differently from my siblings is already making my blood boil.

I tried to not get in your ways many times. I am kind enough to give you my less than 5 months old phone, because I know you needed a new and better one and you got me the phone I wanted, Sony Ericsson W910i. But so what? Not appreciated anyway.

Forget about the usual naggings of me being jobless. Because you do not know how tough it was NOW! And you fucking do not know what I am trying to do. I studied HTML, pick up photography, learn photoshop and search online for many various jobs even those that I do not like. But what for, you do not know what I am going through anyway.

I did not stretch out my hands and say "Old man, lend me money" or "Oi, I've no money. Help me pay my phone bills". No, I did not ask from you since last year. It has been a year I did not asked for pocket money or receiving any from you. All you ever say now was money money money money.

I just merely asked if mum is going to do some shopping at the NTUC nearby, you fuckingly asked me for money instead. You think I print cash is it? I do not you fucking old man. I am jobless, and I am proud to say that. Because even if I am jobless, I digged my piggy bank now for that $1.50 to buy a loaf of bread as supper, which the other half I save for breakfast this morning. No, you do not understand.

You kept saying I did not visit my grandparents, did not do housework. Now you fuckingly tell me, who is the one that accompanies you and mum to the old folks home to visit grandmother? Who is the one that accompanies you and mum to visit grandpa when he was admitted to the hospital, or when he is doing fine at uncle's place? Where's your eldest daughter and youngest son? Who is the one that helps sweeps the floor when no one is home? Who is the one that helps with the laundry when the mother asked for? I don't see your eldest daughter and youngest son helping?

So what male are more dominant than female? Hello! Which fucking century you're living in. Idiot. Hate you! I really hate you!

Every time pin point me like I am someone utterly useless. I tell you! When I make enough money and can afford a house, I'll leave IMMEDIATELY! Not a single cent I will give you, you money grubber or whatever you call you. I'll give my mother instead. Yes, I have not rant enough of what you stupid idiotic father of mine. There's more.

But because the wife tells me not to be angry or unhappy, I shall leave it be.

I H-A-T-E YOU!
I shall give you the cold war starting from today. I shall make you lose face in front of my relatives if you say something which is so freaking not true about me again. Since you don't care about me, why should I?