Deep in Thoughts

After a talk with Baby, I didn't really talked to her after that. I guess I've hurt her in my reply. Sorry Baby, I didn't mean it.

I know of the importance of having a goal in life, and where I'll work towards it and achieve it. And I know how I'd feel at the end of the day when I've achieved it. But sadly to say, I don't have any goals in life, and that is yet. I know I'll soon find the goals in my life.

Baby had given me examples. I may not be ambitious, I may not want any high paid jobs. I'm just easily contented with enough cash in hands to go on in life. But like any other people, I yearn to aim for the highest position in my career and get high pay. That is because I want to earn enough to start a family, enough to support my family, my parents and give my precious Baby a good life ahead.

Yes, I may have a good life since I was young. I don't have to worry of not enough food to eat, not enough to wear. I get whatever I want since young. From a bicycle of my own, to a kick scooter, to a laptop. I get the toys that Baby didn't even had the chance to had. I stayed in a private estate at the age of 7 to the age of 9. Though without working for months, I won't get starve to death. Yes, that's the good life I had.No, my family isn't rich now, but we were years. Maybe even before I was born.

I'm a fickle minded person when it comes to setting a goal in my career. I thought of venturing into music. But many told me to give it up since I don't have a music background. I thought of venturing into Radio DJ, but Baby said I'm too quiet, but I can work on it. By just talking to people that I'm close with. I'm trying, but I just don't have that specific conversation with them. And now, I'm thinking of producer. Though I may not have entirely know of the job scope of being a producer, but I know I'm keen in knowing more.

Whatever that is, I still don't know what I really want in my career life. Most probably, you'll see me job hopping. Or maybe, I would find something I like while working in Vocare Media. Well, that is just maybe.

You see, even this trivia matter would lead me into thinking of so many things which lead me to be quite unhappy. It's depressing seriously, in not having any goals in life. Not even one, is saddening. And so, I'm sitting right in front of my laptop at such late hours, listening to S.H.E's newest album blasting off loudly through my earphone, thinking hard of what I really want to achieve in life.

I understand of how much Baby wants me to find the goal in my life. Get a job that I really like and be happy. I know, because I wanted her to be in the same way as well. I understand that she wants me to share her achievement near her, and not seeing her achieve it from afar. As in when I'm not having any goals, yet share the joy in her achievement.

I do thought of opening my own studio, like 10 years down the road. But at times, I think it's impossible. Because, having a studio of my own, what I want to do? Videography? Photography? And in what areas? Wedding? Corporate? And I have to think of the huge capital that I have to invest in.

So for the current time, I'll be sitting down and thinking of my goals in life. Whatever it is, I'm going to enroll into Radio Academy in the near future, to try out and learn more about radio DJ's life before thinking if that's what I really want.

I may not have my goals set, but I do have the rough idea of what I want. Just give me time to sort my thinking out, and I'll have the answer in no time.